At your best or in your mess?

“Real love does not meet you at your best. It meets you in your mess.” (J.S. Park). I am a firm believer that love does not meet you at your best and that it meets you in your mess. In my own personal experiences, love has only met me during the middle of a mess in my life. It has met me when I was not even looking for a relationship because I was trying to focus on the messes in my life.

During my first semester in college, my goal was to try to focus on the transition from high school to college, obtain amazing grades, and to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. While I was in the middle of multiple messes in my life and let my guard down, all of a sudden he came along in my life. I remember the first day I met him like it was just yesterday. I was literally a mess and when we talked for the first time, it felt as if time slowed down and he was going to help me through my messes.

In the novel, Feed, by M.T. Anderson, Violet starts to fall for Titus when they are both hospitalized when their feeds get hacked while they are on the moon. Violet’s feed was damaged and the damage may have been life threatening. Also, Violet had gotten her feed later in life and her brain was not dependent on the feed when she was little.

On pages 269- 270, Violet explains to Titus that she went to the moon that night to have fun. When the hacker hacked their feeds she felt like she was being punished because she is never able to have fun like normal people. She believed when Titus came into her life that she was going to have a boyfriend and she finally did not have to live alone anymore.

Violet was in the middle of a mess with receiving tragic news that her life was endangered because her feed was damaged. “And the whole time I was thinking, Now I’m living. I have someone to live with me. I’m not alone. I’m living. (Anderson 270).  She explains to Titus that when she received the news about her feed, he was there to live right by her side. Violet did not have to go through things alone anymore since someone had come into her life to help her live with her messes. Titus was there in the beginning of her messes. Unfortunately, he made Violet go through her messes by herself and when her life was ending he regretted leaving her alone.

Maybe certain people walk into our lives to help us get through certain problems. I think love meets us at our mess to maybe make things seem okay when everything else feels like it is falling apart. Even though they may not always stay at our side, maybe they were only there to help us get through certain situations in our lives. Another mess will happen and then love meets us again. I have been living this continuous cycle since my freshman year of high school and I think certain people come into our lives for certain messes to help ease the pain and fix problems. Do you believe that love meets you at your best or in your mess?

Briana L.
562 words
Works Cited:
Feed by M.T. Anderson

Will You Choose To Rebel?

Although I believe that we will never have a perfect society because to have a utopia we don't need it to be perfect. We need to stray away from the idea that everything needs to be perfect. But let's take a second and think hypothetically here. If there was a perfect society, throughout time there's always someone or some group that decides to rebel. Things can be running smoothly and everyone is living the dream life but there's always that one person who just decides that they want to go against the system in place. We've seen this in movies, books, and all over social media. This relates to what I think is an ongoing debate in our generation. Whether we should try to fit in with the crowd or stray away and be ourselves.

 You also see this in today's fashion and music where people are constantly trying to find ways to be different and start new trends. This group is always itching for that next trend to emerge just so they can drop it in the next two weeks. Then there's the other side of the fence, the group of people who were raised to just go with the norm and often get offended by these ideas. Have you ever been told to "stay woke"? There's this theory going around that we are blind to what actually takes place. For the most part, I tend to agree with this idea, I believe that we are only exposed to certain things while we miss out on key important pieces that are kept in the dark. I feel like this will not last long mainly because of the fact that we are exposed to so many different things on social media, where previously our only source of information came from mostly news outlets. Who’s to say they don’t keep certain stories from us blinding us from the truth and what’s really taking place in the world.  

M.T Andersons Feed is a book based on a future society. Titus along with his five teenage friends all share the feed. The feed is a microchip that is put into the head and constantly feeds knowledge to the brain. It also does a majority of critical thinking. Violet, a girl Titus meets on the moon doesn't have the same view towards the feed as everyone else. She takes on a negative perspective and fights against the norm.

In M.T Anderson's Feed, you can debate that there is a theme of rebellion, but there's a constant defiance taking place with Violet.  Violet didn’t get the feed until she was seven years old. Mainly due to the fact that her parents were not able to afford it and they also objected to it based on a moral standard. Her father wouldn’t have implanted the feed into his back if it wasn’t for the fact that he was missing out on crucial information. Which pushes him to makes sure Violet gets the feed so she does not miss out on the same opportunities that he has. Among the group of friends, she is much different, she seems to be much smarter and thinks outside of the box. She comes up with a plan to take interest in different products of different varieties. As she says “Listen,” she said. “What I’m doing, what I’ve been doing over the feed for the last two days, is trying to create a customer profile that’s so screwed, no one can market to it. I’m not going to let them catalog me. I’m going to become invisible.” page 98  By doing this the feed can't predict her interests because if she doesn't have consistent patterns it confuses the feed. When they go to the mall they start off by going into a tech store and begin to look at the most unusual products they have, the first being a search light. Violet begins to tell Titus some of the different weird things that she has been looking at. Some of these items being a “pennywhistle, a barrel of institutional lard, some really cheesy boy-pop, a sarong, an industrial lawn mower”. page 102 Along with information on business, male pattern baldness, and house paintings for an Antarctic home owner. I don’t know about you but if someone came to me looking for these things it would definitely confuse the shit out of me. She continues to do this at other stores but she doesn't buy anything she looks at items then gives them back and leaves. As she's going through there's stores she's actually taking on the role as an interested buyer by pretending she actually likes the items.

Her plan begins to work as the feed can't find any consistencies and can’t properly read her. But little

does she know it actually works against her and the feed begins to shut down. She later finds out that this simply can't be fixed because of the fact that she got her feed later than others. This reminds me of certain examples where there is an uprising and there's always an effort by someone or something to quiet the rebellion. The one thing that comes to mind that relates to this is the assassinations of different leaders who lead movements throughout history. These movements didn't sit too well with certain people and they felt it should be handled even if it meant murder. Just because they decided to stray away from the norm, and make a change. For example, Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement.

In feed, you do see other hints at rebellion but none as strong as what’s going on with Violet. For example, when they were driving through the tube streets there was an ongoing protest on the moon. Some of the people were protesting the feed and were broadcasting different slogans to everyone. To be exact one of the slogans went, “Chip in my head? I’m better off dead! Chip in my head? I’m better off dead!” page 31/32. This shows that there are people out there who are against the feed but it does not specify if they have the feed or not.

The question is, would you choose to be different like Violet and think for yourself or is the easier life where knowledge is hand fed to you the easier choice?

Citation :

Feed by M.T. Anderson

Word Count : 1122

Malachi A

Would You Like a Chip With That?

What if I told you there was a way where you can know it all?

And it is as simple as inserting a chip in your brain and BOOM you know it all.

Okay you're probably like " that sounds painful" " no thank you" " I'm good I rather not know it all" and then of course those who " I honestly don't give a flying fadoodle"

Trust me, I said the same thing when I read FEED by M.T Anderson. My very first initial thought was " who the hell would even think about implanting a chip in there head " the next big thing that zoomed through my mind was a movie that just recently released called The Belko Experiment.

Okay so I knew this could go one or two ways, maybe even three

- we all read feed get a sense of this "FEED" and try it out and it ends up being twice as successful and we're all super happy about it
- We end up getting the feed and we are completely just an experiment gone wrong like the belko experiment. In the movie everyone willing gets a chip installed in their brain for a job but a series of events happen that terribly goes wrong.

CLICK.CLICK.CLICK

- OR it just never happens....

Now see the way M.T portrays the thought of this chip feed is really kind of intriguing and come on with the way technology has advanced through the years why haven't we had this sooner ?

The whole purpose of FEED is to give the reader an insight of what the world would be like if we were to live off of a chip that advanced the way our brains were set up. we would no longer need our cell phones to communicate because we can do that through what is known as " m chat" , we would no longer need our cell phones or computers to go to google and search something ing up because we can all do that with our chips. The narrator Titus gives a good insight on the world he lives in, it's like your modern day teens but with a twist..CHIPS OF COURSE !


So as others may read this book and depict the obvious details that the world has became this cyber universe and explain why it may work or not work. Or they may discuss how politics play a role or even tackle on the idea of getting FEEDS.

I on the other hand felt that I related to this book a little more than I should have, I mean I'm not sure if you'll get but or see my perspective but I hope you do...


They went to a party, they wanted to have fun and have a good time. What teen wouldn't ? Titus along with 5 of his friends went to the moon and wanted to have fun. Titus came across a girl he'd never seen before, a girl that instantly caught his eye and he never looked away since. As Titus soon became acquainted with Violet he then realized he wanted to know more about her so she instantly became a part of their group. Titus and his friends along with violet decided that wanted to go and turn up !

See as you read and get to know As Titus is, you get who she truly is and that is someone who normally sticks to herself and stays away from anything out of there normal, mostly parties at that. Right when Violet was m chatting Titus about Mars and trying to figure out why Titus thinks it's a dumb planet, everyone's feed was spiking and things were just malfunctioning left and right and it only took one man, one old man standing by them to yell " We enter a time of calamity" page 38 and one simple reach out with a metal handle and touch the back of their necks and BAM! They were all hacked and all repeating the same chat over and over


"We enter a time of calamity"We enter a time of calamity"We enter a time of calamity"....



I sympathize with violet and in more ways than one understand completely. She comes from a family that doesn't have the luxury of money but makes it through. She's your average teenager and even though she received her feed later on then the rest of the people in the novel she still stays humble and sticks to what she knew prior to the feed being installed. She still writes occasionally with a pencil and paper. She thinks more outside of herself then relying on the feed. How she feels when the feed starts acting "mal" on her. I mean when you think about it everyone got hacked, all those people were hospitalized but soon recovered while  she still had feedware damage.

It was that specific moment in the book when i took a step back and instantly felt as if something in that nature happened to me. August of 2012 I was in a car accident that resulted into me having memory loss. There was 8 of us and only I was that one that was deeply affected. No one truly suffered but me and something till this day still feels wrong.
 " something happened when the guy hacked. Most people, the hack just jammed them for a while. Somehow it affected mine more. Something's still wrong." Page 90

What if I told you I also had a best friend through this traumatic stage in my life ? Yeah just like Titus but no we weren't dating and no my best friend was not a guy. Her name was Brielle and for 5 years prior we were nothing but inseparable. when the accident happened she never left my side. She came to the hospital everyday and always tried to bring memories back alive for me but maybe that's what makes Titus and her different or does it ?...

• What if Brielle hadn't invited me out that night ? 
• What if Titus hadn't invited Violet out? 
• Why didn't Violet leave when she knew she wasn't having fun? 
• Why did I stay? 
• Why didn't Violet and I see this coming ? ...

" You go try to have fun like a normal person, a normal person with a real life -- just for one night you want to live, and suddenly you're screwed. " page 53

I felt violet more then ever in that particular scene when she was crying to Titus because she was so
upset at what happened to them the one time she goes out. I felt the regret and the sense that she should not have went out of her comfort zone. All violet and I wanted to do was be normal and have fun. All we wanted to do was be with our friends and enjoy was life was intended to be, joyful...fun...

Well at least I thought...

Thinking back on my accident I always have a sense of regret because I'm constantly reminded of it. Everyday I look at my mother and sister and realize that I put them through this pain and a sense of loss.  

As time progressed Violet got worse, her feed was taking over her limbic system controls all her basic emotions ( fear, pleasure, anger) and drives ( hunger, dominance.. etc) it was almost taking over her mobility.
When Violet made a " Definitive list of things I want to do.." 22 things to be exact and sent it to Titius, she knew her time was limited and still wanted more out of the short time she had...

" 8. I want to go up into the mountains with you for a weekend. Where people don't usually go. "
"10. I want to rent a hotel room with you. As mister and missus Smith"
"14. I want to get older. "
"15. I want to see the years pass. " page 230/231

" I couldn't help but wonder what was my list prior to my accident ? What was my goals and what were my aspirations ? Was it set ?

I mean you could be saying " well why don't you ask your mom " and I could don't get me wrong but my mom had this notion that regained all my memory, she has this belief that I'm back to the way I was and I guess you can also say I put that on myself. A lot of times when she talks about a certain time or that past, instead of having to go through the awkwardness of saying " I don't remember "  i listen and nod my head in agreement because I know if I said anything different I'd bring back all those emotions back.

Violet’s father was my mother. As I read more and more about him I just put a picture of my mother in my head. Just as Violet’s Father was against his daughter getting the feed, my mother was against me going out that night. Just as Violet’s father held resentment and anger towards Titus, my mother held anger and resentment towards Brielle.

As Violet’s father told Titus " fuck you forever and ever and ever ! Forever and ever! "
I could only think that's what my mother and sister felt and said a thousand times hoping it would just get better...

So please tell me, can a feed give you a different life than the one you're living now? Can everything you went through have been ANY different then if you had a feed ?

Do you really want one ? ...

Citation:
 FEED by M.T Anderson
The Belko Experiment

Word Count : 1580
Alyssa.S

How Much Does Technlogy Influence Our Lives?

The world is constantly changing, adapting and expanding with all technological advancements over time. All these new improvements created by man has allowed for us to live an advanced and easier life more or less. But most things have their pros and cons. Technology for example has helped connect the whole world together and makes the process of things go by fast. Its cons has been creating a generation that is easier and very dependant on the use of internet and technology over time…

Technology and the media try and cover up the downside of changes that go on around us everyday. Sugar coating the bad and covering up with different world problems or new trends to catch our attention.  M.T Anderson wasn’t far from the truth with Feed. This world where a microchip in your brain connect you to unlimited internet access while also having an effect to one’s memories, thoughts and emotions. This feed is what lead Violet to losing a year’s worth of memories, stories, experiences..

Titus had to fill in the missing pieces for her. Be that support system she needed that the feed damaged and prevented her from doing it herself.

The feed is made so one can be so dependant on it that it had become vital to one’s life.

We are basically heading toward that kind of life right now. Being so reliant on technology and using so much of the internet a day. It’s something we are guilty about. I mean the first thing I do when I wake up is look at my phone and it’s also the last thing i look at before I go to sleep. We might as well have our phones implanted in our hand with the amount of time we use our  phone..

Nowadays we rely on our phones to store pictures and videos of moments and it store our “memories”. I know that if it wasn’t for icloud and using facebook, only for storage of pictures, that I’d forget a lot of little things that has happened in my life.

This world that Titus lives in is so technology dependant and advanced that making babies the natural way is called “freestyle”. Kids are not conceived but parents use “conceptionariums” which is like a incubator that makes the baby outside of the womb. People basically do that now with “designer genes” picking out which sex or features one wants their child to have or not have. I mean they don’t even get high with weed like how people do now a days.. They get “mal” and get high electronically do too a malfunction with their feed. These people have completely eliminated what hippies in the 70s are known for!

This dystopian society in Feed is all about corporate power and consumerism.  If 73% of the world’s population had this feednet planted in them it’s no wonder that the corporations that created this “feed” has taken over society, education and they way people communicate with one another. It might have even had the kind of power that could purposely defect one’s feed to really do some damage on a person that tried to resist it like Violet and those hackers did...

Trying to tamper with others’ feed got these hackers beaten to death and eventually the death of Violet. This feed completely messed with Violets ability to move or speak.The only positive use of the feed in the end of the book was Violet using what was left useful of the feed to communicate with Titus. In order for her to die peacefully or at least try to, Violet still had to rely on the very device that was killing her. The feed is what allowed her to tell Titus all the things she wished she did while slowly dying and being brain dead.  It had the power to determine what kind of people to be friends with depending on personalities and even death…

This’s a crazy example of how much corporate power this dystopian world has. Corporations can have such effect in people that it could even reverse adaptations from evolution. For instance, in the movie Wall-E, the humans don’t know how to walk, eat food that’s in a milkshake form and can be right next to each other but communicate via holograms (like facetime) and it’s all because of how technology dependant they have become.

Reading Feed reminded me so much of this movie with the character “Auto” because  it tried to manipulate the captain into believing that there was no chance of any life on earth. The captains that are basically the leader of everyone in the spaceship have only ever acted on what this robot is programmed to do.

Even the constant advertisement that goes on in the movie with people changing the color of their suits, food smoothie to how they even teach babies the alphabet using the company that made every robot and the Axium spaceship.


The feed corporations are puppet masters of humanity since they basically influence people due to how much they get “bannered” with advertisement interruptions in their brain.

The feed corporations run the society and consumerism at an all time high to the point that Titus’ thoughts were interrupted by little commercials popping into his brain.

This is book also reminds me a lot of the movie Eagle Eye in the sense that technology is so advanced that is can control so much that a military computer software basically controlling the main characters’ actions leading them to become the most wanted fugitives and threatening their loved ones and manipulating them to do what this system tells it to do leading to many casualties in order for this computer to override the military.

Violet and the hackers were examples of what probably happened to anyone who tried to inflict with the feed. I mean Violet always felt that something wasn’t right having the feed in her brain. Other than the fact that her parents couldn’t afford the feed, they hesitated for 7 years because they were morally against it. Knowing what I know about technology today, I would be hesitant letting my future children use any form of technology at a young age too.

We as humans are made up of more than just water and organs but we have a brain that does so much including having thoughts, memories and emotions.. The feed in a sense has tainted a person’s free will to pretty much live.

I don’t know about you but that's the thing I love the most about being a person; being able to have thoughts and feel all types of emotions... I believe that is it is what makes us all connect despite everyone's differences.  It’s what makes us human…

I don’t think I could live in a world where I wouldn’t be able to experience sadness along with the happiness. I love that cry over the most stupid things. Most of my friends even say that I’m an emotional ass person. You could find me crying because of a movie or show; many people do. I feel like one needs to experience sadness or heartbreak in order to get the experience of being a person… Being in touch with all forms of emotion, all parts of being...

Even in this crazy world that has evolved, Titus sees Violet and is hooked on her instantly. The feed being in his brain doesn’t stop one from feeling an attraction to a person.It still blocks him from being free in the mind but Violet opens his eyes and makes him realize that he doesn’t need the feed. That the feed only causes harm and it gives his the ability to turn away from his dependance of The Feed.

No one should have to depend on something so much to the point that it prevents you from being having your own desires, thoughts and aspirations.. I don't think I could ever take a chance on that or my health to have "unlimited internet access" in my brain. There's clearly so much risk at hand to invest in The Feed which includes death. I know I wouldn't be able to take a risk like that but would you? Could you?

Leslie C

1,375 words

Sources: Feed by M.T Anderson

Wall E (movie)

Eagle Eye (movie)